


Get Lost Get Found

by lovingpineapple



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alpha Steve Rogers, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Bearded Steve Rogers, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky is 22, Friends to Lovers, Jealous Bucky Barnes, Jealous Steve Rogers, Knotting, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Nomad Steve Rogers, Older steve rogers, Omega Bucky Barnes, Oral Sex, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Protective Steve Rogers, Rimming, Rough Sex, Sam is a Saint, Spanking, Top Steve Rogers, steve deserves love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-17
Updated: 2021-03-21
Packaged: 2021-03-26 04:01:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30099996
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lovingpineapple/pseuds/lovingpineapple
Summary: "But then Steve smells it. He feels like his lungs are shrinking and he stops himself, breathing faster with his mouth to feel what he hopes he's not imagining. Because it can't be real. Steve knows it's impossible and it's been years since someone has been able to smell something like that. The scent is delicate and almost imperciptible and he understands why Sam couldn't smell it."After the Snap, Steve leaves everything and everyone behind. He's alone with Sam, in a small town where the past can't find them. It's enough for Steve.He lives alone. until he's not alone anymore.This is a story about getting lost and getting found. This is a story about a love that can grow when no one expects it. This is a story about Bucky and Steve.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers
Comments: 14
Kudos: 75





	1. Chapter one: Get Lost part 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first chapter. I hope you'll enjoy it.  
> (I hope there won't be many mistakes.)

It all begins with the rain. 

Steve should see it coming and it was predictable. It’s the first day of winter and nature must show it to everybody. Raining is just the easiest way.

There are only two things that can change Steve’s day, since the first lights of the morning. 

One, and for Steve the most important, is how Sam feels and his mood. Because if there’s something unusual around their home, Sam doesn’t bother to let him know it, howling at the ceiling and scratching all the doors in the house.

It’s stressful and extremely hard spending the day peacefully and without a bad headache, while your best friend howls in your ear and destroys all the furniture, which is in wood and so fucking expensive for his claws, but Steve survives. He couldn’t think how to make the Beta stop, because Steve knows it’s in his nature to behave like that. And, even if Steve tried to talk to him and to tell him to stop destroying his couch, he knows that Sam wouldn’t understand him. The Beta would look him like he had two heads. 

The other thing is the weather. For example, when a day begins with the sun high and bright in the sky and then it ends with a storm, with dark clouds and lighting and thunder.

It makes him feel agitated and the dark sky remembers him the attack of New York. Sam seems to understand when he travels too much with his mind, because the Beta pushes his muzzle against his handsand he licks his fingers, to let him know that he knows how he feels. And Steve forgets the past and he breathes the clean air, so different from the dirty one in the city. He breathes deeply and hopes that the sky will be clear again.

That day, Steve smells tha rain even before he opens his eyes in the morning and, when he looks out the window, he sees the big dark clouds that threat the sky. Strangely, Sam is not near his bed, where he usually sleeps, and Steve doesn’t even hear his owls, due to the bad weather. 

It’s so strange but Steve heads for the kitchen and prepares his coffee, because he feels like he can’t think properly if he doesn’t drink a big cup of the dark liquid before. Sam is in front of the door, watchful and he doesn’t even look away from it, even if Steve is in the room with him. It’s like he doesn’t see him. Steve’s senses allow him to feel his friend’s concern by his furios heartbeat. Steve pets him between the ears, massaging the dark fur and trying to inspire him calm.

But Sam doesn’t move and he snarls more, with his ears pointed to the ceiling. Steve doesn’t react immediantely, because he knows how strange Sam behaves when he tries to protect Steve and their house. 

Steve warms his hand against the cup and, with the other, he shifts the curtains and he watches the perimeter of the house, with his watchful eyes. There’s nothing around them; only a thick wood where Sam can easily hunt and run free, without the limits of the city. They’re alone and isolated from everything and everybody, and nobody seems to care. 

It’s a small town and people don’t ask themself about the sudden presence of Captain America in their neighborhood. They respect his privacy, as everybody should do; they greet him and they do small talks with him when he leaves his loneliness of his home and goes out, acting like normal human being.

People are kinder, the landascape is amazing and the food is delicious. Like the bread Pam makes very morning. She’s the old lady who owns the bakery around the corner. She always keeps a loaf of bread for him. 

Steve promises himself to go in the town at least once a day, to not make suspicious between people. He tries not to be the stranger who lives alone on the mountains, away from everybody. The man who spends his days with a big Beta with dark fur. People are used to his presence and the Beta’s who can’t change himself into a man.

Sam can’t trasform anymore, at least not after Thanos. Nobody knows how it is even possible or if there’s a chance that he will return in his human form again. Doctor Strange and Wanda keep repeat that his human soul is in his body and they reassure him, because they’re confident and fucking wizards and know everything about everyone.

Steve misses talking with his friend, but he also knows that’s the best for him now. His mother has always told him that our wolf form is the most private part of ourself and we can hide in that, because we feel safe and protect. And Steve remembers when his mother died, when he stayed in his Alpha form for the pain that couldn’t let him breathe.

But nothing has changed in their relationship and Steve is so grateful to have him by his side. Even if he’d like to hear his voice and his words, instead of his growls and howls.

Like now.

Steve washes his cup and he dresses, ready to go to town. But Sam doesn’t move. Steve tries to concentrate, smelling the air and listening to any noise out in the wood. But there’s nothing anomalous. It has began to snow and, even if it’s not sticked to the ground, Steve would bet it would be impossible to walk on it at the end of the day. 

Among the trees, there’s nothingas usual. And Steve is about to ignore Sam’s strangeness. But then he sees a small motion behind a tree. It’s imperceptible, but Steve knows what he saw. 

Sam barks louder and he wants to get out. Steve satisfies him and he opens the door, throwing himself out fast and following the Beta, who runs into the wood. Sam is out of breath, but he doesn’t stop to sniff the ground, looking for something. But he doesn’t find anything and he snorts and returns home.

They were wrong. And maybe it’s his fault, because there’s nobody here. Steve moves away, shaking his head and shivering for the chilling wind that hits his body. 

But then Steve smells it. He feels his lungs shrinking and he stops himself, breathing faster with his mouth, to feel more what he hopes he’s not imaging. Because it can’t be real. Steve knows it’s not possible, because it’s been years since someone has been able to smell something like that. The scent is delicate and almost imperciptible and he understands why Sam couldn’t smell it. 

Because that’s the scent of an Omega. And, after the snap, there’s no Omega around the world. The titan must have considered them as a lower specie and destroyed them.

The scent disappears fast and Steve begins to think he’s imagined it, while he stills there. Around him there’s only a deep silence, but the snow has increased. 

When he comes back to Sam, the Beta waits for him near the couch and he seems more peaceful. He’s stopped to growl and he’s more relaxed, like nothing has happened.

In town, everything is chaotic. Winter is coming and, with an impeding snowstorm, no one wants to be taken aback. Steve buys all he could, not knowing the next time he will be able to go out again. 

Sam follows him and he lets the kids pet him and the old ladies cuddle him. Despite his threating look, Sam knows how to be loved.

When they return home, the snow is thick on the ground and on the trees, like Steve had thought. He approaches the entry and he waits for Sam to enter before him, like he usually does. But Sam stays still and growls at the house.

Steve puts the bags on the ground and goes on, without making any sounds. 

There’s nothing out of place. The kitchen is as tidy as it was when he went out. His shield is behind the door and his black backpack is on the couch, even if he doesn’t remember when he put it on the cushions. Sam follows him and he scampers around the house, checking Steve’s room while the Alpha checks the outside.   
The room where he keeps his stocks is open wide and the lock is broken. The padlock is on the ground and it’s ripped in half. Steve picks it up and he looks for any signs on the metal. There are claws marks. 

He hears Sam barking from the inside and, before he can reach the Beta, a hooded figure runs out of the house. He goes fast into the wood and Steve can only follow him, running after him, faster than him. 

Steve can’t see him clearly, for the speed of his run and for the snow, that breaks and cuts his cold face. He knows he’s faster and he reaches the figure immediantely. Steve grabs the backpack straps on his shoulders and he pulls, to stop the body to run away. 

The other loses his balance, maybe for the unexpected and aggressive deed, and he falls on the ground on his knees. The backpack rolls not far from them, but Steve doesn’t care. The Alpha snarls, warning him to not move to make the situation worse. 

The other one turns around quickly and he drops the hood that covered his face. He looks very frightened and he tries to move way from the Alpha. He slithers away in the snow and he doesn’t avert his bold gaze from the man. His eyes are as cold as the ice and, if Steve wasn’t unmoved by the cold, he would shiver. He’s taken by these eyes. 

The boy snarls painfully and he bends his neck in submission for the Alpha in front of him. And than Steve smells it. The scent of an Omega. The same scent he smelled before in the wood, but now stronger. And that’s so breathtaking, that Steve feels weak again and he crumbles on his knees, tighting his fists and smelling furiosly the scent of the Omega. 

The boy looks astonished but he doens’t lose time and he raises from the ground. He kicks Steve’s chest and he makes him fall on the ground. Steve breathes fast for the kick and that doesn’t help. 

The Omega climbs quickly on his chest and he blocks Steve’s stronger body with his thighs. He plants a knife against his neck, stopping his thick arms in the snow. Steve could easily escape and even pick him up whit his arms, that are at least three time the boy’s, but he can’t do it. 

His face is close to Steve’s and his furiosly breath breaks on his face, making little clouds for the cold. From this small distance, Steve can’t smell anything else but the Omega scent. And it’s intoxicated. It’s nothing like the others scents he has smelled before the snap. It’s better. 

It’s sweet and spicy, it’s hot and cold and it’s fucking amazing. Steve wants more. 

His face is breathtaking. His cold eyes inspect Steve’s face, looking for something that he seems not to find. His lips are red and split for the cold and Steve wants to taste them, he needs to. He must know if he tastes as good as he smells. Steve feels his arousal and he prays the boy won’t be scared. He doesn’t want to frighten him, even if he’s the one with a knife planted against his neck. 

The Omega growls and shakes his head, planting the blade more in his skin. Maybe he smelled his scent. Steve looks into his scared eyes and he relaxes his features. He tilts his neck against the blade and he concentrates to inspire him calm with his phermones and his scent. 

And it seems to work, because the boy relaxes his forehead and stops shaking. Steve notices his pupils blowing but he doesn’t question it too much. The boy moves slowly the knife away and he frees him by the hold of his hand. He looks at him with confusion in his eyes, but before Steve can talk to him, he stands up fast and he runs away, picking up the backpack. He doesn’t even look back and he flees in the wood.

Steve stays there, trying to stead his breath and thinking what had just happened while the snow falls on his hot face. 

When he returns in his house, his clothes are soaked and they drip on the carpet. Sam is closed in the bathroom and he continues to growl, even if he knows Steve he’s safe and sound. Steve ends his pain and he goes to open the door, closing his eyes and being prepared to be knocked down by the Beta.

Sam puts his muzzle against his neck and he lets Steve petting him, to calm him down. He snarls and growls in his ear but he relaxes immediantely, with his friend safe under him. 

“Yeah, I know buddy.” He comforts him, not knowing for what. 

When Sam lets him get up, Steve controls again his storeroom followed by the Beta. Sam doesn’t intend to stay away from him so soon. On shelves something is missed. Steve counts two jars of jam, a form of cheese and a bottle of apple juice. When he goes to his bedroom, he realizes his wardrobe is open and there isn’t his black backpack and a blanket. The boy hasn’t touched anything else, as if he knew where to find all he needed.

His scent doesn’t go away very soon. And Steve doesn’t care, but Sam keeps snarling at him. So he’s sort of obliged to wash it off. Steve leaves his clothes in the tub and he inspects his body on the mirror. His chest is bruised, but he man knows it will be gone soon, thanks to the serum. Under the jaw, there’s a small cut from the blade the Omega put on his skin. 

His wrists smell like the Omega. Steve puts his nose against his skin, to smell it better. It’s heavenly and Steve has to hold his Alpha instict, that screams at him to run after him, chase him and make him his and never let him go. 

Steve must find the boy. It takes him two days to put through his mind and to decide undertake this suicidal mission. Suicidal, because it didn’t seem like the Omega wanted to be found, in the first place. And being found by the Alpha he stole food and a fucking blanket from. 

But Steve also understands that he needs to help the boy, even if he will have a knife on his neck again. 

He doesn’t know how long the wood is. And it’s been days since the boy ran away; he could be anywhere. He can’t stop thinking about the boy’s conditions. Is he hungry? Is he cold? Or maybe afraid or in danger? Is he hurt? The thought alone makes him tremble for the fear. So he must do something. 

It’s almost dark when he gets out, hands full of a plate with covered food and a hot thermos. Sam follows him, keeping growling to let him know how all this is a bad idea. Steve knows he’d be frustated for him not to insult him as he should. It’s a suicide. 

Steve heads fast for the wood, careful not to let something fall on the ground. He tries to calm down his Alpha insticts, that beg him and tortures him for days. Sam bites his jacket, grabbing him by the cloth to stop him. He sticks his claws on the ground and he snarls. 

“Sam.” Steve scolds him, freeing himself from his teeth. The jacket is ruined, but he doesn’t care at all. He keeps going on, leaving the Beta in front of the house, to check it. 

The wood is silent and the snow covers the ground for a lot of inches. Steve hopes the Omega is safe. He leaves the plate on the ground, removing all the snow from the soil. He waits patiently for the arrive of the boy, maybe enamoured by the smell of the food. He waits for him to shown, but in vain.

When he exits from the wood, the sun is setting and Sam is napping on the snow. 

Steve can’t cocentrate. The documentary on the tv should be really interesting, but he can’t listen to anything the man is saying about fishballs and their habitats. He continues to stand up from the couch and move the curtains, looking for something with a human shape near his house. Sam snarls everytime he moves from the couch. When Steve doesn’t seem to listen, he lies down on him, proibiting him to stand up again. Steve surrenders and tries to pay attention to the documentary. He pets Sam while the thought of the Omega never leaves him.

The day after, when Steve goes out to pick the wood for the fire, he finds the thermos and the plate on the doormat. They’re pretty clear though. He laughts silently and picks them up. 

Steve keeps do that and the Omega returns everytime. Everyday there’s a new plate on his patio, but the boy doesn’t show personally. Steve is sure he eats during the night, when he knows Steve is sleeping and he can’t see him. 

So Steve tries to stay awake during the night, looking for the Omega and watch him while he eats. He’s so fucking creepy. But he needs to know if he’s okay. 

The day after, the plate lays on the little staircase, like it hasn’t been touched at all. 

Steve doesn’t make the same mistake again. 

Everyday he makes an effort to improve his culinary skills and he hopes the Omega will appreciate them. He feels Sam’s eyes on his back everytime he’s cooking, but the Beta always follows him when the sun sets, protecting him and indulging. 

The snow doesn’t stop falling and it doesn’t seem to want to. He tries to keep himself busy, because he can’t think about the boy all day long. He spends more time in town and he gets rid of his worries by cutting the wood. The house’s full of cut wood and he doesn’t know anymore where to put it.

His super TV, how Tony likes to call it only because it’s a Stark device, informs him that a snowstorm is predicted in the area. He starts to panick really fast. 

He doesn’t want the Omega to spend the night alone with the bad weather and he runs outside, starting to look out for him. The light is gone and the only way to find the boy with the darkness is by his smell. He’s determineted and he opens the door, almost knocking the knob off.

Or he would do that, if Sam wasn’t forbidding him to pass. He doesn’t move from the door and he snarls everytime Steve tries to pick him up. He also bites him. And no attemps work. The Alpha tries in vain to let him think about the boy’s safety and realise he’s wrong and he must let him go. 

They spend the night fighting and while Sam snarls and keeps biting him, Steve arguing with himself, with the illusion the Beta will soon understand. 

When Steve wakes up, it’s morning and he lays on the carpet, with the big and warm body of the Beta on his chest. The light enters by the blinders and it’s so annoying he needs to close his eyes. He stands up slowly and he holds his breath, looking out from the window. 

He can’t tell if there’s something else instead of the white of the snow. It’s so full of snow, he can’t see the trees clearly. His first thought goes to the Omega.

When he opens the door, there’s no plate on the patio. He holds his breath again, or maybe he just can breathe normally anymore. 

The Alpha feels like he will transform for the anger and the fear and he tightens his hands in fists, proibiting to let the wolf get out. 

Sam howls and lowers his ears, rubbing his muzzle against Steve’s hip. Steve can’t be angry with him, because he knows he did all of this to protect him. So he pets him on the dark fur. 

He spends the day near the window, hoping something will happen. Maybe the snow will stop. Or the Omega will materialize on his patio, like nothing has happened and he hasn’t been so dumb to let the boy run away from him. 

He doesn’t know what time is it. Or when he has closed his eyes and felt asleep. But the howls wake him up, making him stand from the uncomfortable position he has slept in for hours. Sam howls louder and he scratchs his paws against the door. 

When Steve opens the door, he sees a body in the snowstorm. He’s walking slowly in his direction, dragging his body like it weights too much for him. But before he can take another step, he lifts his head up and he tumbles on the ground, sinking in the snow. 

Steve runs out without shoes, letting the snow freeze his feet. He kneels in front of the boy, whose covered by his thick blanket. Steve thanks the boy stole it from him. The Omega is dangerously cold and pale, and he has his eyes closed.

Steve picks him up in his shaking arms and he clutches him to his chest, carrying him fast into the house. Sam follows him, with the backpack in his mouth.

It’s warm inside, but not enough to warm the cold body Steve has in his arms. The boy keeps shaking against him. The Alpha holds him thighter and he brings him to the couch. Sam returns in the livingroom with a new blanket in his fangs and Steve pets him on the head to thank him. 

He takes his shoes off and he puts the blanket on his body, making sure he’s full covered. He gets close to the fireplace and he starts a fire hurriedly. His shaking hands make the matchstick fall three times, before he can light it. 

He can smell his scaried scent and he feels powerless, knowing the Omega is hurt and he can’t do anything about it. Even after the fire has been lighted, the Omega can’t stop tremble. His eyes still closed and his forehed is sullen; he seems deeply in pain. Steve can’t stay there, looking the boy suffer. 

He knows he runs hot and the cold don’t bother him. So he sits on the couch and he lays the boy on his legs, holding him against his chest. He hasn’t enough time to think how much he’s lucky in that moment. He lets his body to warm the Omega and he leans his bearded face against the boy’s soft and cold. He lulls him until he relaxes. When he stops shaking, his scent changes and he pushes more against Steve’s neck, breathing deeply. 

Steve dares himself to cheer internally for the Omega’s attentions and he doesn’t leave his body until he’s asleep. 

The boy wakes up when the sky is dark and it’s time to eat for both of them.

Steve watches him waking up and opening the eyes very slowly, maybe for the headache or for the amount of time he has slept. He spies him from the kitchen, while he warms the soup, stiring it to not let it stick on the bottom of the pan. He smells the Omega’s scent over the smell of the food. It’s scared and agitated and Steve wants to run right in front of him and promise him he’s safe. But he doesn’t do it.

The boy stands up slowly and he looks around the room, inspecting the house. Sam is napping on the carpet, near the Omega’s feet. The boy seems not to care about it. Maybe it’s a good sign. He tightens the blanket on his shoulders and he walks around the living room with shaking legs. He spies the paintings on the walls. 

When he turns to the kitchen, he meets the Alpha’s stare and he suddently stops to move. Steve sees him holding his breath. He slowly pulls away, but he doesn’t move his eyes from Steve’s. 

Steve raises his hands up slowly, he doesn’t want to scare him more. And by the way he smells and looks at him, he’s scared to death. He flattens himself against the counter, to let him know that he won’t hurt him. 

“It’s okay. You’re safe now. Nobody is gonna hurt you.” When Steve talks, he can’t believe to hear the sound of his voice. “Your body was in the snow, I think you fainted. I brought you home. You can stay here as long as you want.”

The boy looks at him like he doesn’t understand and then he observes the smoking pot. 

“Are you hungry? The soup is almost ready, but I can find something you can it now.”

The boy doesn’t answer, but he seems less scared than he was before and, with the promise of food, Steve must had catched his eyes. Steve doesn’t care.

He cuts two pieces of bread and pours a glass of water. He puts both on the table as far as possible from himself, to let him eat without thinking he’s a menance. It must work, because the boy approaches the table, dragging himself slowly, as if he slimps. 

He sits far from Steve but he doesn’t look away from his face. He devours the bread and he drinks the water till the last drop. Steve watches him moving shyily on the chair, yawning deeply and fluttering his eyes shut for the tireness. It’s the most beautiful thing Steve has seen so far. And he had lived for over a century. 

He brings a smoking plate in front of the hungry boy and he sits near him, but keeping the distance. 

“My name’s Steve.”

The boy looks at him but he doesn’t say his name. Steve watches him bringing a spoon into his mouth and he observes him more clearly. With the light, he can see the boys has no marks on his neck and Steve can’t smell any Alpha on him, expect his for the blanket the boy keeps on his body. 

The Omega finishes to eat very fast and he leans on the back of the chair, with the mention of a smile for his full belly. 

“You can use the shower any time you want. I can lend you some clothes.” Steve clears hi throat and he stands up, starting to clean the table. The boy pulls his arm up and he smells his armpit, frowning. 

“I’m not saying you smell!” the Alpha declares fast. He feels his cheeks flushing. “Just- you know, feel free to use the shower or the bathroom or anything when you want.” He can’t approach people anymore. Maybe that’s the reason why he lives isolated from the rest of the world.

“You’re sly, Alpha.” The boy looks him up and down and in his eyes, Steve doesn’t see fear anymore, but just a gaze of challenge. His voice is hoarse, as if he hasn’t talked for days. It’s not feminine like the others male Omega, but neither deep.

“Sly?”

“You give me food, you let me run away and you bring me here, in your home.” The Omega splits the words angrily, frowning and directing his gaze on his feet, which are covered with a pair of Steve’s socks. He snarls and Steve can feel his mood changing; he isn’t relaxed anymore, but angry. He can smell it and feel it by his icing gaze. “What do you want from me?”

Steve approaches him slowly, ready to promise him that he’s not like the others and he won’t hurt him, but the boy lifts himself up the chair, letting it brushing noisily on the ground. The sound wakes Sam and the Beta stations himself between them. He stands in front of Steve, protecting him from the boy and growling to warn him. Steve approaches the friend and he pets him on the head, reassuring him that he’s not in danger. He also knows, because he can smell it, that the Omega is more scared now.

“I’m not that kind of Alpha.”

“Isn’t that what every Alpha says? If you think a warm plate and a blanket could turn me in a harmless and cute Omega, who waits for you kneeling by the bed, you’re wrong.” The boy alternates the gaze between Steve and the Beta, trying to undestrand who is the biggest menance. 

“I had no intentions to- I don’t think of Omegas in that way-“

“Should I get naked and present for you? Open my legs like a good Omega and show you how I’m grateful that you saved me? Is that what you want?” The boy tightens the blanket more firmly against his body, like it could protect him from the thought. He’s pale and petrified. 

Steve knows a lot about panick attacks and he can recognizes them clearly. The Omega is having a panick attack. 

“Please, stop. Don’t say that.” Steve begs him, getting close. He doesn’t know what to do. He can’t do anything that won’t make the boy less scared. 

The boy let the blanket fall on his feet and he bends his neck in submission, for the words Steve said. He clenches his fists on the side of his body, making him white for the force, and he shakes violently. He breathes furiosly and doesn’t look the man in front of him. 

“I’m sorry.” Steve says and distances himself from the boy. 

The Omega watches him from the distance with wet eyes, while a tear rolls on his cheek. Steve would hurt himself to let him cry. But themost important thing now is to let the boy know he’s not a menance. Later he could punish himself for this. 

“I’m not used anymore to approach people and I know that all of this can be a lot to process and to not be frighted of.” Steve points at his body. He’s big and tall and the boy is so thin compared to him. He doesn’t remember the last time he cut his beard or his hair. “But I just want to help you. I can promise you that. And I will, but only if you’ll have me.”

The Omega watches him carefully, reading him fully. He relaxes a bit, maybe because he smells his sincerity by his scent. So Steve bends his neck slowly, to convince him more. 

It works.

The Omega isn’t at ease. He keeps alternate his eyes from Steve to the shower, also scrutinizing the pile of clothes on the counter near the sink. He tightens the blanket around his body and blushes furiosly. Steve would give everything to know what he’s thinking of. 

“There are some body washes you can choose from. Feel free to use the hot water as long as you want, the cointainer is full. Tomorrow I’ll go in town to get your clothes cleaned.” Steve points his dirty pullover and his broken pants. “Or maybe buy new ones.”

The boy doesn’t say anything and Steve is convinced he’s not listening to him anymore. But he keeps glaring at the clothes, like he was scared of them.

“I’ll be in the kitchen, if you need anything. Don’t hesitate to call me.” Steve is ready to get out and leave the boy alone, but he stops while his hand is on the doorknob, hearing his feeble voice.

“Bucky.”

Steve turns around and watches him. 

“My name. It’s Bucky. Thank you for bringing me here.” He thanks him briefly, torturing his hands and avoiding his gaze.

Steve nods briefly and smiles softly. He doesn’t know what to say. So he stays in silence and he leaves the bathroom. 

He hears the water running from the kitchen and he lets himself fall on the chair, letting the Beta looking at him and asking him what the fuck he had just done. 

He washes the plates and he checks fast the house perimeter with Sam, who seems happy to get out of the house for the clean and cold air. The storm has calmed down, but the snow will take a long time to disappear and melt.

The water has stopped to run. Steve prepares the couch for the night and he goes to his room, to pick some blankets.

Bucky is waiting there, standing in the centre of the room, while he looks his reflection on the mirror. Steve’s shirt is a little bit bigger than he thought and the pants are definitely loger. Steve can only see his naked toes on the ground and he intends to give him some socks, to not let him get sick. His hair is wet and flattens against his face. His cheeks are red, due to the warm water.

Steve has never seen something more beautiful. And he has already said that twice in a day.

He remembers to breathe and ihnales deeply, breathing his scent. He smells like him. Maybe for the clothes and the body wash. He doesn’t know. But he’s sure he needs more. 

He smells like the Alpha and Steve needs to have him and never let him go. 

“I couldn’t find you.” The boy murmurs slowly, blushing furiosly. He notices the man in the mirror. Steve can see how he’s more relaxed than he was before, even if he’s ready to run away if Steve would move fast. 

“I was outside. The snow is everywhere. I couldn’t even get out in the garden.” Steve explains, taking a blanket and a pillow from the closet. He’s ready to spend the night sleeping on a couch that’s too small and uncomfortable for him. Yeah. “Don’t hesitate to wake me up, for anything. Goodnight, Bucky.”

“Where are you going?”

“I’m giving you the bed for the night.”

“I can’t sleep in there.”

“You need to rest more than I do and it won’t be so bad, if I spend a night on the couch.” Steve lies, trying to understand what’s the problem.

“I don’t want to.” Bucky bursts out angrily, watching him with tears in his eyes. “I can smell your scent from here and I don’t want to sleep being surrounded by it.”

And Steve would be offended, because a scent is the most personal part of a wolf and his words hurt him deep. But then he feels it. He understands the boy is lying. He can feel it by his accelerated heartbeat and by his muted scent. 

“As you prefer.”

Bucky relaxes and follows the Alpha in the living room, watching him prepapring the couch. He keeps the distance and he remains in silence. Steve lights another fire and he stays in front of the fireplace, to make sure it won’t extinguish during the night. 

When he turn around, Bucky is under the covers and he gives him his back. Steve wonders if he’s already asleep, maybe devasted from the day. He walks away, ready to sleep like a rock.

“Thank you, Steve.” Bucky wispers, watching him sidelong. His face is lighted by the light of the flames. Steve nods again and he watches him laying down again. 

Steve spends the night not sleepig like he wished, but hoping the boy he’s dreaming without nightmares and feeling safe with him. He wonders if all this is a good idea.


	2. Chapter 2: Get Lost part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the second chapter! Thank you for all the kudos and the comments. :)

As usual, Steve is woken up by the light that enters from the curtains. The blankets are so warm against his   
body and they tempt him to not stand up and to stay under the covers all day long. He strechtes and yawns   
slowly. He’s alone in his room and Sam isn’t at the end of the bed. Steve finds him in the livingroom, after a   
short stop in the bathroom.

He’s napping on the carpet, close to the boy asleep on the couch. The Omega hasn’t move since   
the night before and Steve notices his relaxed features, when he passes near him to go in the kitchen.

The Alpha turns on the radio but he keeps the volume low, thanking his super hearing. He makes a big   
breakfast for both of them, while he listens to the news and the weather of the day. He cheers up when the   
man on the radio says the storm has ended during the night and he begins to organize mentally his day,   
knowing he will need to go in town. He eats a slice of red apple, enjoying the sweetness.

He hears the boy moving on the couch while he flips the last two slices of bacon in the pan. He listens his   
footsteps to the kitchen, followed by the Beta.

His clothes, or Steve’s, are rubbed and his hair falls on his face, but Bucky doesn’t seem to be annoyed. He   
leans against the door side and he watches hungrily the table.

“Morning.” Steve distracts him from the amount of food in front of him and he tries hard to reassure him   
with a smile. He hopes he won’t look like an idiot. “Have you slept well?”

The boy doesn’t look away from the table but he nods, to let him know he’s listening. Sam doesn’t look   
away from his body and keeps checking him for every sudden move.

“Maybe I overstates with breakfast. I hope you’re hungry.” He laughts shily, scratching his neck.

“I am.” He answers, with a deeper voice, due to the time he spent sleeping. Bucky moves away from the   
kitchen and he’s followed promptly by the Beta. Steve hears that the bathroom’s door closing violently and   
Sam’s claws scratching the door, while the wolf howls loud. Steve is sure Bucky closed the Beta out the   
bathroom.

They return fast in the room and Bucky sits on the same chair as the previous night, as far as possible from   
Steve, while Sam sits near his feet.

Bucky doesn’t start eating until Steve brings a slice of bread in his own mouth. Then, the boy starts to eat as   
if he doesn’t intend to waste any of what it’s on the table. Steve hides a smile behind the cup and he turns   
up the volume of the radio.

“How long will your dog keep following me?” The Omega asks without moving his gaze away from the   
plate. Sam growls for his words. Steve smiles soflty for Sam’s reaction and stands up, turning off the radio.

“He doesn’t trust you completely and he tries to protect me. And he can understand what you say, so be   
careful. He’s a touchy type.”

Bucky sighs, but Steve knows he’s amused. He looks at Sam with challenge and breaks a piece of bread.   
Then he throws it toward the Beta. Sam cacthes it and licks his muzzle. He begins to wag his tail and he   
approaches the boy, who pets him under the ears and he rewards him with another piece of bread. Sam is   
a traitor. 

“I don’t think he sees me as a menance.” Bucky comments, keeping petting him on the fur and laughing   
when the Beta pushes his muzzle on his chest. He keeps eating like nothing has happened. Like Steve   
isn’t looking at Sam with his mouth opened. Both for his friend’s behave for the same boy who   
planted a knife in his neck, and for the attentions the boy gives to the Beta. Steve feels his chest rumbling   
with jeaulosy and he coughs, to take his control again. Steve hopes the Omega won’t notice it. 

“I heard on the radio that the storm has stopped.” Steve changes the subjet, trying to avoid what he’s   
feeling inside. “I need to go in town. I thought you could come with me, if you want.”

Bucky shakes his head violently and he brings his knees on the chair, hiding himself behind them. Steve   
hears his heartbeat increasing and he doesn’t understand what he has done. He tries to calm the Omega   
with his smell and Steve returns to breathe normally, noticing that Bucky seems to relax. Steve needs to   
learn how to keep his mouth shout. Bucky moves his face away from his legs and he looks at him with wet   
eyes. 

“Or I can go alone. Sam will stay with you, while I’ll be out.”

Bucky looks at him with a hesitation, but he relaxes on the chiar. Sam puts his muzzle on the boy’s leg,   
letting him know he’s heard Steve and he intends to do what he said. 

“I’ll buy some food for both of us and some new clothes for you, so you won’t feel obliged to wear mine. A   
friend of mine once said I smell like a wet dog, so I won’t feel bad if you decide to not wear them   
anymore.”

Sam barks and wags his tail, knowing exactly Steve is talking about him. Steve knows he’s not true, but his   
words make Bucky smile, so he can stop taking his breath.

“Do you want me to buy something in particular?” Steve asks. He’s willing to buy him all the town, if it   
would make him happy and erase all the sadness he drags along.

But the boy shakes his head again. Steve sees it a victory.

For the rest of the morning Bucky watches an old film sitting on the couch. With Sam who checks him   
carefully on the carpet, Steve writes down a list of things to buy. When he enters in the livingroom, Sam   
isn’t on the ground anymore, but laid down near Bucky, who pets him distractedly, without looking away   
from the tv.

“I’m going. I will be home before lunch, but if you’re hungry, you can eat without waiting for me.” Steve   
explains, while he puts on his coat. His voice catches their eyes and Sam gets off the boy and wags his tail   
while he reaches the Alpha. Steve bends to pet him, hoping he will understand he’s not coming with him.

“Apple juice.” Steve hears Bucky whispering above the sound of he tv.

“What?”

“Can you buy some apple juice? The one I stole from your storeroom.” Bucky blushes soflty on the cheeks and hides more under the blanket. Steve begins to think he does it when he’s embarassed. The Alpha finds it extremely cute.

“Sure.” Steve tries to hold his happiness. He will buy all the apple juice bottles he will find. “You’ll be here, when I get back?” He asks before opening the door. He needs to know it. 

The Omega looks at him without speaking, but he nods and bends his neck soflty, before turning his gaze away. 

Steve runs away, feeling his chest without the tipically weight that he carries along everyday. He feels like he doesn’t want to go away and doesn’t intend to leave the boy never again.

In town he hurries up.

Pam seems to understand his hurries because she doesn’t keep him talking with her in the bakery like she usually does. He gives him a bag with some warm loafs for Sam, letting him promise her to cuddle the Beta for her. 

After the storm, the roads and the shops are full of people, so Steve spends a lot of time to escape from lines to buy some clothes for Bucky. He choses some soft sweaters, with clear colours. Then some comfortable pants and a pair of jeans. He grabs a real pijama and a big and warm coat before he pays.

He returns home with the hands full of bags. Food, clothes and an embarassing amount of apple juice bottles. He arrives home without being out of breath. 

If only the scene in front of him didn’t make him take his breath away.

The Omega is in the snow. His dark and wet hair is on his face, trying to hide his red cheeks. He wears one of Steve’s big coat, and it’s so big on him that it seems to swallow him completely. He holds a snowball in his naked hand. 

Steve watches him while he laughs and runs after Sam, who barks and tries to run away from him. Bucky loads his arm and pulls the snowfall, hitting the Beta between the ears. Sam chases him and knocks him down on the ground with his weight, letting him fall on his back. The wolf drags his muzzle in the space between the boy’s neck and his coat, wetting his skin.

Bucky starts to laugh loudly and bends his neck away while he tries to escape from the cold of Sam’s fur. The Beta moves away from the boy and comes greeting the Alpha. Bucky regains his composure and stands up with shaky legs, breathing fast but with the shadow of a smile on the lips.

“Sorry for the jacket. Hope you don’t mind.”

Steve shakes his head, while he tries to breathe normally again. It’s that the boy seems to feel better and Steve can even smell his happiness by his scent. Bucky smells like the red apples Steve can’t stop eating, like the leaves the autumn abandons on his doorstep, and like warm and sweet honey. 

He must look stupid, standing in front of him and breathing furiosly, both for get a second wind and for his scent. 

“I bought you a new one.” Steve enters in the house, followed by the Beta and an excited Bucky.

“Can I see it?” Bucky asks and waits while Steve puts all the bags on the table. Only when Steve nods, the boy puts his hands in the bags. 

Bucky takes them one for one, he studies them with attentive eyes and then nods, before folding them again. Steve spies him while he puts the food in order on the shelves and he smiles, for the Omega’s expressions of pure happiness. Bucky can’t stop touching the light green sweater, the one Steve bought both for the softness and for the colour, thinking he’d be matching perfeclty his eyes. 

“Do you like them? I can change them, if you don’t.”

“They’re perfect, Steve. Thank you.” Bucky smiles shyly, but Steve has learnt to read his eyes and he knows he’s truly grateful. He turns around and hides his smiles under a big bag of apples. 

When he turns around again, the big coat is hanged on the back of the chair and Bucky has his fingers around the edges of his jumper. He takes it off and gives his back to Steve, bending his neck and spying him from his shoulder. Steve blushes furiosly and looks away, hoping Bucky won’t think he’s a fucking creeper. He holds the sink, hoping to forget easily the image of the boy’s naked back. His slim hips that Steve would like to squeeze in his hands, his smooth and pale skin that Steve would love to mark and the two diples on the base of his back that Steve would love to hold while he sinks deep in his body.

The Alpha hopes the smell of the fresh bread will cover his excited one.

“How do I look?” Bucky whispers the words as if he feared Steve’s reaction. Steve looks at his hands and the way they torture the sleeves. Bucky looks away and shifts from a foot to the other, waiting for the Alpha’s opinion.

Steve would like to tell him that he’s never seen something as beautiful as him and that he would kneel at his feet immediantly to show him his devotion. He would like to whisper in his ear that no Omega has never let him feel in this way. He desires to make him feel good, to see his face as first thing in the morning when he wakes up, and the last when he goes to sleep for the tireness. Make him laugh and laugh with him, but never of him. Be funny to make him laugh and kiss him to make him stop. He would like to protect him and he would like to not need to do it. 

“You look good.” He says instead and he swallows the words he would like to say, hoping to tell them at the boy in a day not so far away.

Steve opens one of the bottles and pours two glasses of juice for both of them. He offers it to Bucky, who looks the golden liquid with a hungry gaze. The boy brings it fast at his lips but he doesn’t drink it immediantely. The Omega watches him under his lashes and waits for him to take the first sip.

The sweet taste is cold against his tongue and Steve seems to appreciate it only now, knowing that Bucky asked him to buy it. The boy finishes his glass in two big gulps. His red and puffy lips are curved in a shy smile. He looks Steve without the fear he had the previous day and Steve relaxes a little more under his gaze. 

He hopes the boy will stay for him, even if the thought is selfish and Steve isn’t used anymore to be selfish. But he delights the moment when Bucky approaches him, standing near him in front of the sink.

Bucky touches his arm lighlty while he puts the dirty glass on the counter. From this small distance, Steve can smell more of his scent and he starts to think this boy will never stop to surprise him.

“Thanks, Steve.” He whispers, looking at him deeply in the eyes and he bends his neck in submission. Steve nods again for the thousand time in a day and he squeezes the edge of the counter, obliging himself to not come closer to the boy and to lick his scenting glands. 

Bucky moves away from the kitchen and gets out to Sam, maybe to catch his snow fight with the wolf again. Luckily for Steve, he doesn’t seem to know what Steve is feeling inside. 

Steve hopes his excited scent won’t remain in the kitchen for so long.

The first week of living together is when they know each other and they understand when to leave the other alone.

Steve learns that Bucky is afraid of the dark and he always takes care of lighting up the fire for a long time, until he doesn’t fall asleep. Sam doesn’t sleep anymore in Steve’s bedroom but in the livingroom for checking on Bucky. He doesn’t feel disapointed.

They do long walks with Sam and they pick up the wood for the fireplace; as to say: Steve picks up the wood and Bucky tries to convince him to let him help. Uselessly attempts that are promptly ignored by the Alpha who shakes his head and keeps walking on the path, putting up with his continuos complaints and his annoyed gazes. They stay away from the centre of the wood and Steve doesn’t know the reason, but he doesn’t push the boy. Bucky isn’t ready to go in town with him yet, but he never says no when Steve proposes him to go on a walk.

They don’t talk too much and it’s always Steve who starts a conversation with him. He doesn’t complain about it.

Bucky sleeps a big amount of time a day and he wakes up at strange times, both during the night and even before the first lights of the sunrise. Sometimes he also sleeps all morning and wakes up in the afternoon. Steve notices his tireness by the look in his eyes and the way he drags along when he walks, limping a little.  
Even if Steve needs to have answers, he never asks what happened at his leg.

Bucky is always distracted ad he can’t look away out of the window, pointing his gaze into the wood. Steve doesn’t ask either. 

In the second week, Steve learns how to listen and how to teach, while Bucky learns how to learn and to be listened. 

Steve teaches him how to keep the fire lighted up, what wood to chose during their walks, how to play with Sam and how to cook. 

It’s Bucky who asks first, after he ate the second slice of apple pie and with sugar and cinnamon on his lips. Steve feels obliged to nod while he stares his mouth, hearing his fumbles beetwen his morsels. 

Steve teaches the easiest recipes his mother tought him. They start making bread and Bucky frowns for the way the dought attach on his palms and under his nails. They make a loaf and then they cover it with a piece of cloth, putting it under the blankets to keep it warm enough. They want the dought to rise.

Bucky wacthes a documentary on the tv and Steve spies him from the kitchen, while he cleans the mess they made.

They put the loaf into the oven and Bucky sits in front of it, looking at it while it bakes. He stays still until the bread is ready, smiling like a baby. Steve doesn’t know if he prefers the smell of the bread or the Omega’s. And he’s a fucking liar, because he knows.

They eat it while it’s warm, putting some fresh jam on the slices. Then they leave the leftovers for the dinner, even if Steve tells him it won’t be as good as the fresh one.

Steve teaches him how to cook the cookies with Pepper’s recipe, brushing them with milk insted of egg, before putting them in the oven. They’re crunchy enough and the milk keeps them soft. They eat them before going to bed, dipping them in the hot milk.

“Who tought you?”

Steve is always surprised to hear his voice, both beacuse he needs to get used to the sound of another man in his house and because Bucky doesn’t talk too much. He’s a type who doesn’t ask but who observes silently. Bucky waits for his answer and he breaks a cookie and he puts the crumbs on his palm, letting Sam licking his hand clean.

“My mother.” Steve smiles at the thought of the woman who raised him. Bucky understands the love Steve must feel and he approches him, putting his arms on the table and listening to every detail Steve could tell him.

“We didn’t spend so much time time together. My dad died before I was born and she had to do a lot of shifts to bring money at home. But we spent every Sunday together. She taught me every recipe she knew and we always cooked too much, so we needed to give some of the food we prepared to the neighbours.” Steve laughs at the thought and he’s hit by the memories.

“Where is she?” Bucky smiles while he pets distreclty Sam.

“She died when I was 16. She didn’t tell me about his sickness and I hadn’t the time to say goodbye. This was her house. Well, in fact it was my grandparents’, but they gave it to her and now it’s mine.” Steve feels his throat tightens at the thought of the pain he felt. The way he looked her dissapearing slowly and without knowing what to do. The day he has spent in his wolf form, refusing to shift again for the pain he felt everywhere. He doesn’t tell that to Bucky.

“I was cleaning the house when I found a book, with yellow pages. It wasn’t my mother’s handwriting, but I think it was my grandma’s. I don’t know it clearly; I’ve never met them. But my mother was a good person so they must taught her well. The book was full of the recipes she taught me. You can read it, if you want to.”

Steve is about to grab the book but he can’t move. Bucky is crying and big and fat tears roll on his cheeks. Sam pushes his muzzle on his chest and howls. But the boy doesn’t move.

“Bucky.” Steve calls him and tries to touch his hand, but then he retreats it in time, before he could scare him.

“My mother tried to teach me french.” The boy laughs, but it isn’t a happy sound. It’s a strangles one and Steve doesn’t want to hear it anymore. Bucky closes his eyes and sobs silently, trying to calm himself before to continue speaking. “I remember that she always read the same french book, before I felt asleep. It was a story about a cruel man, who locked up his wives in a room and then he killed them.” He looks out of the window and frowns, trying to remember every detail he can.

“Barbe Bleu.” Steve suggests. He remembers when Wanda lends him that book and how she laughed when he told her the way he made him feel.

Bucky looks at him, as if he noticed the man only in that moment. He nods and he dries his tears with the sleeve.

“Becca was better than me in speaking french. She was better than me in everything. My parents were so pround of her. And I was too. She was clever, brave and I envied her so much.” Now he laughs so loud that his shoulders shake. He takes a deep breath and he strokes his hair. “I miss them.”

They stay silence and no one is brave enough to break it. Maybe afraid to tell something that could change what they have right now. 

“The truth is that I’m alone. And I have to get used to the thought that I’ll always be.”

“You’re not alone.” Steve whispers and he looks at him under his long lashes. 

Steve takes his hand slowly, leaving him the time to pull away if he wants to. But Bucky meets his hand in the halfway and he clenches his palm, crossing their fingers together. They stay there, looking at each other, without telling what they really want to do. 

They pull apart only when Bucky seems convinced about his words.

The next day, when Steve goes in town, he has a recipe book in his right hand and a yellow copy of Barbe Bleu in original tongue in the left. When he gives them to the Omega, he pretends not to smell his happy scent and to notice the way he looks at him, as if he gave him his bloody heart in his hands.

Steve teaches him how to play chess.

He finds an old wood box hidden under all his clothes in the closet. He hands it over the Omega and he asks him silently to play with him. Bucky doesn’t leave the chessboard for a whole week.

He plays before he goes to sleep, after breakfast and Steve finds him even playing alone. Steve observes him playing for so long, that he learns when the boy is about to win. The Omega frowns and he scratches his chin; then he taps his cheek two times. Steve knows it because he always loses and he lets him win, looking the boy rejoicing over the victory and arranging the pieces again.

Steve also learns that Bucky gets bored easily. And, after a whole week of defeats, the chessboard returns in the closet. And when Bucky gets bored, it’s like talking with a child.

“Steve.”

“Mh”

“Steve!”

“What?” Steve screams from the bathroom, taking out the tootbrush from his mouth. He cleans his mouth and he leaves the room. Bucky is on the couch, laid on his back, and he lets Sam biting the edge of his sweatpants. He looks even too bored to tell him to stop.

“I’m bored.” He snorts loudly and too dramatic. He lifts his chest up and he looks at him with an annoyed face.

“I can see that.” Steve scratches his beard. “Do you want to go out? Maybe a walk?”

Bucky snorts again and drops his body on the couch. So dramatic. Steve takes it like a no.

“We could go in town.” Steve says it even if he knows he won’t accept it. The boy seems to trust Steve and Sam only and he isn’t ready to get out yet. Steve doesn’t complain; he knows how much time it had occured him to get his trust.

“No.”

Steve isn’t surprised.

“So what do you wanna do?” He asks, approaching him on the couch and waiting for him to leave some space on the coushion. He sits and he pets Sam, shooing him away from Bucky’s leg and giving him the attention he’s looking for.

“I don’t know.” The boy snorts again and he leans his head on the back of the couch. Steve would run his fingers through his hair. He’s satisfied with Sam’s fur, for now.

“Do you want to watch a movie?”

“But I’ve already seen all of them. And there’s nothing new on the tv.” He explains, like it was taken for granted. Steve asks himself how it is possible that Bucky had already watched all of them, when Steve did in years. Steve often forgets that he’s the only one in the house who has been catapulted in the wrong century.

“There’s a video library in town. I don’t know how many movies it could have, I’ve never checked. But I can see if I find something which is not in black and white.”

Bucky watches him carefully and then he raises his shoulders and nods. Steve gets dressed immediantely and rescues his wallet from the kitchen.

“Preferences?” He asks while he puts his shoes on. He notices the boy looking at his back, while he’s bend.

“A love story.” He murmurs slowly. He blushes and he turns around, facing the tv instead the Alpha. Steve notices how his breath is faster and his heartbeat resounds in his ears until he goes out.

As he had thought, the video library isn’t full of new movies. And the shelves are full in dust, as if no one had entered in the shop for a long time. There’s a girl behind the counter and she asks him if he needs help, blushing behind a high pile of cassettes. 

She suggests to look in the section near the entrance, where he could find some romantic movies. She goes to put the cassettes in order and then she joins Steve to help him.

Steve knows by her smell that she’s a Beta. She smells like wet paper and coffee. And he knows it, because the girl is far too close to his body, while she reaches for a cassette. 

Steve hurries on the counter, ready to pay for the dvds and gets out. If only the girl wouldn’t ask him so many question. Steve asks himself why he has to tell her his birth date to rent some movies. 

He gets out greeting her quickly and he breathes deep the clean air of the outside. He felt like he couldn’t breath in there. Nobody cares about him, while he avoids all the people to return at home quickly.

When he enters in the livingroom, Sam doesn’t even bother to pull up his muzzle from the Omega’s thighs, but Steve notices the way he wags his tail for the happiness. The boy glances the bag that bounces back on the coushion. He pulls out the three cassettes and he reads carefully the plots. 

“I’ve never see them. But the girl in the shop recommended them. The one about the world war two above all.” He tells the boy, while he pours a glass of water. He didin’t realize how thirsty he was. And he feels hot. 

The house is too hot for his body. The fireplace is full of smoking wood all the time and Steve can feel his neck blushing, even if he’s been at home just for some minutes. But Bucky must not fell it, because he tightens the blanket around his body, so Steve doesn’t say anything. A month has passed but Bucky seems to be as cold as he was when Steve found him.

He fills up a bowl with popocorns and he sits near Bucky on the couch, in time to see the begin of the movie. The story begins with the city of Brooklyn and Steve recognizes it quickly by the crowded streets. Steve glances at the tape on the table and he cheers up internally, understanding that they won’t watch a movie about the war. It’s a love story about two friends, who then become lovers slowly.

It’s intriguing. Funny, but mushy at the same time. And the story let you reflect. The main character, Harry, is certain that it can’t exist a friendship between a woman and a man, because of the need of sex that everybody seems to have. Steve like this character.

“Have you ever been in love.”

Steve glances Bucky quickly, being catched up by his words. He finds him already looking at him, as if he wants to read inside of him. Steve would let him do that. Steve feels like he could combust sooner if he doesn’t look away from this beautiful boy and he clears his voice.

“Once. I think.”

“You think?” The Omega asks, whispering the words like he doesn’t understand their meanings. 

“I thought I was in that moment. Sometimes you’re sure about it, but then you realize you were wrong. Have you ever felt like you were in love with the thought of someone?” Steve watches him under the lashes, while Bucky shakes his head embarassed. “Like maybe you didn’t miss them, but just the comfort that they brought. And sometimes we run to things that aren’t the best for us, because they are what’s comfortable. And we fall in love with these ideas of who they are, rather than actually who they are.”

With Sharon it was like that. He understood it later, when they weren’t together anymore. And he had thought it could be like what he had with Peggy, maybe feeling what he hadn’t the time to feel. But it wasn’t. 

And after Sharon, Steve didn’t need anyone. He has never felt the absence of someone by his side. But now, while he watches Bucky’s eyes so full of sadness, he feels empty inside. He wishes he could be braver and more selfish. He wishes he could fight for what it makes him feel good. And now, Steve feels like he has found the peace he was searching for. 

“I’ve never understood it, you know?” Bucky smile bitterly and he brings his knees on the chest. 

“What?”

“How can someone cancel himself for the loved one. How can someone surrender for the loved one.” He shakes his head and he moves a dark lock from his face. “Maybe because I’ve never been in love before. But I can’t understand it.”

“It will happen and you will understand it then. You will know it.” Steve reassures him, smiling sincerily. The Omega watches him carefully. “My mother told me about this myth, of a philosopher I don’t remeber the name right now. Before everything, human beings were perfect, like apples. She told me that God punished them, for something men did to spring God’s anger. Whatever, he decided to divide them in two halves. I didn’t believe it, but I liked to think about these pieces of apple, searching their half all over the world.”

They stay in silence, with the sound of the movie that keeps going on, but without the attention of them both. Bucky looks out of the window and his gaze lingers in the snowed wood. 

“You’ll find your half. I’m sure about it.” Steve promises him, ignoring the jealousy he feels in his chest at the thought of the Omega with another person by his side. He’s selfish. 

Bucky turns around on the couch and averts his gaze from the outside. Steve will find out what torments this poor boy. But for now he stays still. 

Bucky moves forward, without turning his gaze away from the Alpha’s face. Steve doesn’t move backward, too scared that Bucky will misunderstand or, even worse, that he won’t shut down his instincts and he will finally kiss him like he wishes. He clenches his fists and he squeezes his shirt under his hands, holding his breath for the waiting that is divouring him on the inside. 

Bucky stops when his face is so close to Steve’s that their noses could easily touch. The Omega lowers his eyes on Steve’s lips and Steve can see them darkening. He raises his face and he looks at the Alpha with challenge.

“You smell like coffee.” He whispers like it was a secret between them and no one has to hear his words. “And paper.”

Bucky frowns annoyed, but he doesn’t move away. Steve is about to justify himself, when he realizes he doesn’t have to, because Bucky doesn’t have the right to behave in this way, if he smells like another person.

“Does it bother you?” He asks, raising his chin and challeging him instead. No one intends to look away first.

“A lot.” Bucky answers, maintaining his gaze, but he bends his neck in his submission for the Alpha. 

Steve feels a feeling of pround at the sight and he would tell him how he makes him feel. He hopes his scent won’t betray him. But Bucky must smell it, because his pupils dilate, swallowing the clear blue of his iris. Steve hears him breathing faster and relaxing on the back of the couch. 

Steve puts his arm behind his head, touching his hair lighlty. They’re smooth and Bucky bends his head against his palm, to let the Alpha touch it again. He looks at him in the eyes, while he caresses his scalp, running his fingers through his dark locks. His scent is sweeter and Steve asks himself if it’s possible to fall in love with a scent. 

“I was wrong about you.” Bucky murmurs and he closes his eyes, relaxing under the touch of Steve’s fingertips. “You’re different from the others.” He admits while he smiles tired, maybe fighting to stay awake. 

“I’m glad I’ve found you.” He tells him sincerely. “You’re a good boy.”

Bucky tense up and he moves distractedly on the cushions, moving forward his body. Then, Steve smells it. 

He has to close his eyes, because he feels like he can’t open them properly. His scent is everywhere and it seems like it surrounds him completely. He feels his mouth drooling.

He opens his eyes, but Bucky watches him with fear. The Omega stands up abruptly and he draws back from his part of the couch, as far as possible from Steve. He clenches his shirt with white fingers and he looks at him like it was the first time he’s seen him. 

Steve stands up slowly and he asks himself what he did wrong. He excuses himself, while he goes in the bathroom. He runs away, as if the room was on fire in front of his eyes. 

When he’s alone, he holds the sink in his hands, without caring about his strenght. He doesn’t care. The only thing he wants to do is to wash away the smell of the Beta and calm himself down. His insticts scream at him to get back to the Omega and to mark him with his scent, covering him so full that he couldn’t even breathe without smelling his Alpha.

He takes a deep breath and he growls at his image in the mirror. He rips his shirt in half and he tosses it in the bathtub. He cleans himself with a wet towel, scrubbing his chest and his neck until they’re red. 

He stays in the room as long as possible, overhearing the sound of the movie. He asks himself what Bucky will think of him. He racks, asking himself what he said to make Bucky react like that. Was it for something he did? Or said? Maybe the myth was too risky. 

He goes out the room with the head full of thoughts and, after a briefly stop to wear a new and clean shirt, he returns in the livingroom, without the irritating smell of the Beta on his body.

Bucky isn’t on the couch anymore. But he’s in kitchen and he supports his body on the counter, with shaky arms. The light is off and Steve can’t see him clearly with the dark. The only scent can make his legs tremble. 

“Steve.” Bucky calls him, begging him for something Steve doesn’t understand. 

Steve reaches the switch with shaky fingers and he turns the light on. He asks himself why his own body is behaving like that. When he sees it. 

Bucky gives him his back, so Steve can’t see his face. His shoulders are bend for what he’s feeling, not ready to hold all the pain. The fabric of his pants is dark and wet on his cheeks and along his thighs.

Steve inhales abruptly and he’s taken away by the Omega’s phermones. Bucky turns his face around, looking at him with wet and teary eyes. He begs him silently, whil his arms give up and he loses his balance. 

And the Steve understands. 

Bucky is in heat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What Steve says about being in love is a monologue I found on tik tok and it's by montellfish. It's extremely accurate and I couldn't not write it down.   
> Thoughts? Let me know what you think about it and leave a comment.  
> :)

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you think about it. Leave a comment :)


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